Tuesday, August 25, 2009

If stuff was according to Microsoft.

Microsoft is very good at manipulating its customers and destroying competition. It is a company that time and time again has proved to be using all kinds of tactics to maintain its market dominance. Some of these tactics are just plain illegal and others are very unethical. But, if Microsoft would have its way and we would not oppose it this is how things would probably look.

-Each time you click on the start button 5 cents would be deducted from your credit card.

-GNU/Linux would be outlawed as a Communist plot and anyone using it would be sent to prison.

-Mac computers would be running Windows.

-Only Microsoft applications could work on Windows.

-There would be no compatibility between other platforms.

-Having a monopoly would be completely legal. 

-Everything would have a patent and Microsoft would own each and everyone of them.

-If you try to create a website, it would have to be for Microsoft standards and not international ones.

-Upgrading would cost an arm and a leg.

-Each time you get the blue screen of death you have to pay money to unlock it.

-File formats would be encrypted and only Microsoft would be able to decrypt them.

-Digital Rights Management would be in every application imaginable.

-Microsoft would rule your life to the smallest detail.

-No hardware would be able to function without Microsoft software. Vendors would only make hardware for Windows.

-Even though the quality of Microsoft Products would be low it wouldn't matter because you would have no other alternative.

-A bug would be a feature.

-All competition would be eliminated or just bought and disassembled.

-There would be 100 upgrades a year and you would have to buy every single one of them or your computer would not work anymore.

-Anti-trust law would be scrubbed.

-History books would be altered and Microsoft Windows would be the first operating system created.

If you have some other interesting and funny ideas to add please leave them in the comments section below.


  1. This was hilarious! And so true!
    TGFL! (Thank God for Linux!) =P

  2. All programmers would work for Microsoft. Those who write non-Microsoft software are arrested for treason.

    The power button on the front of your computer would look just like the start button in Windows.

    Synthesizers could only run Windows and would crash frequently, bringing musical creativity to an end.

    Automobile computers would run Windows and at the slightest malfunction would drive you involuntarily to Redmond.

    Aviation electronics would run on Microsoft software and... well you know how Windows crashes a lot?

  3. -Upgrading would cost an arm and a leg.

    -There would be 100 upgrades a year [..]

    -> Difficult? ;)